Snippet Sunday/Weekend Writing Warriors #WeWriWa #8Sunday #snipsun

03/16/2013

37 Comments

 
Picture
A dirk’s edge caressed his throat and a woman straddled his chest, eliminating most of his capacity to breathe.  He was afraid to breathe, to move, but strangely he was not afraid of her.  She was his enemy and yet something in those eyes eliminated all fear.  They were like silk, brown silk.  Like smooth dark chocolate awaiting the chance to be tossed into a mouth.  A smile streaked across her face which he was certain was at least partially because she had just killed a man and yet her eyes calmed him.  If there had been a speck of evil glistening in those eyes, it disappeared as her smile widened.  She was an angel.


Read the serialized version of Forever After from the beginning: Chapter 1.
Photo credit: Pensiero / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND
http://www.wewriwa.com
 


Comments

Ryan Derham link
03/16/2013 10:32pm

Intriguing that he can be so confident that she won't kill him that he doesn't fear her. Maybe he's too captivated by her to think clearly. With those eyes, I wouldn't blame him.

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Danielle Forrest
03/16/2013 11:20pm

I think it's a little bit he's captivated by her and a little bit that he's still alive. If she wanted him dead, he'd already be dead like his friend. I love this scene. Makes me smile.

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Chip link
03/17/2013 6:08am

Nicely done!
Reminds me of an old song...
"You look like and angel,
Talk like an angel,
Walk like an angel...but,
You're the devil in disguise!"

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:33pm

Thanks.

And for the curious, the song he mentioned: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=judcSt6HBvo&noredirect=1

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Sarah W link
03/17/2013 8:04am

Good thing he's the hero of the story (I assume?), or he'd be bleeding out right now! :)

Let's hope she feels the same way about him . . .

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:30pm

Nope, he's not the hero. He doesn't actually show up until about 2/3rds the way through the book. He is an important character, though, and he'll be around for a while to come.

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Sherry Gloag link
03/17/2013 11:12am

I hope he's got good instincts. Nice snippet.

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:31pm

Thanks. And of course he's got good instincts. He's a werewolf! Not that you'd know that from the snippet. This was my first time participating in WeWriWa and wasn't sure exactly how to go about it.

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S. J. Maylee link
03/17/2013 11:34am

I don't know. Oh boy, he might be in all kinds of trouble. Totally intriguing.

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:34pm

Thanks, glad you liked it. I love this scene. I had to cut it down a bit to fit 8 sentences, but it's still one of my favorites.

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Gemma Parkes link
03/17/2013 11:57am

Beautifully descriptive, l loved the way you described her eyes, very poetic!

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:34pm

Oh, I love waxing poetic. Not sure if it's a good habit or a bad one at times. ;-)

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Melonie link
03/17/2013 12:58pm

"A dirk’s edge caressed his throat and a woman straddled his chest" - love this first part!

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Veronica Scott link
03/17/2013 1:01pm

Interesting mix of elements in what he sees...intriguing. Terrific snippet!

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Evelyn Jules link
03/17/2013 1:30pm

Very interesting excerpt! Love your style. I'll certainly be back for more! :)

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 1:36pm

Thanks! Well, you can certainly check out the serial of the novel, which I have on my website. It's not a final draft, but I've got the first 3 chapters and part of the 4th up so far.

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Keeley Saint James link
03/17/2013 1:57pm

I love how you describe her smile after she's killed someone. Very mysterious character, you have there. ;)

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Danielle Forrest
03/17/2013 2:10pm

And she's not even the main character! But she has become my favorite character in the book. She's a vampire hunter turned vampire and it was not a smooth transition. She's so complex and hard, but rewarding to write.

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Susan Stuckey link
03/17/2013 2:00pm

Can't really add anything new from the other comments - beautiful description & I hope the guy has REALLY good instincts. :-)

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Vivien Dean link
03/17/2013 2:11pm

Strong description, though his mindset might not be the clearest to determine if she's an angel or not, lol.

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Elaine Cantrell link
03/17/2013 2:22pm

For his sake, he'd better be right.

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Jess Schira link
03/17/2013 2:47pm

I love the atmosphere you've created. It's dark, creepy, sexy, and appealing all at the same time. Great snippet.

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Danielle Forrest
03/20/2013 10:36pm

Love the comment.

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Kate Warren
03/17/2013 3:28pm

Interesting combination of elements. You've fit so much into these eight sentences. I hope she's as good as he seems to think she is.

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Siobhan Muir link
03/17/2013 4:21pm

I loved the first sentence and the setup of the scene. It dragged me right in, Danielle.

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A.S. Fenichel link
03/17/2013 4:33pm

Intriguing description. Great snippet!

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Sandra Bunino link
03/17/2013 6:55pm

Wow! Great descriptive scene. More please. :)

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Danielle Forrest
03/20/2013 10:35pm

Aw, just hold your horses... ;-)

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Eleri Stone link
03/17/2013 7:20pm

Really like this one! This line in particular grabbed me: "He was afraid to breathe, to move, but strangely he was not afraid of her."

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Debbie link
03/17/2013 7:43pm

Welcome to WeWriWa, Danielle. :-) Fascinating snippet. Loved the descriptive passage about the eyes. Looking forward to the next one.

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Danielle Forrest
03/20/2013 10:34pm

Thanks for the wonderful welcome!

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Denise Moncrief link
03/17/2013 7:48pm

Whoa! That was intense. I love the sentence about her eyes being like chocolate about to be tossed in his mouth. Love that imagery!

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Cindy Amrhein link
03/18/2013 12:19am

Very well written. Very descriptive. He must see something in her not to be afraid.

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Teresa Cypher link
03/18/2013 2:19pm

Ha! Never trust an angel with a dirk at your throat. There are dark angels too. ;-) Good post!

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Danielle Forrest
03/20/2013 10:34pm

Dark angels... yes, I've always had a fondness for dark angels. I love the dichotomy of it. This book is all about dichotomies.

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Danielle Forrest
03/20/2013 10:33pm

Thanks everyone for all the wonderful comments! I only hope you like next week's snippet just as much!

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Sarah Ballance link
04/07/2013 12:05am

I love seeing her through his eyes. What great perspective!

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